Father murdered mother in the nursery: Today Chris has learned to forgive themselves

Chris is eight years old, still a primary school kid, as he realized that in his family, something goes wrong. His father drinks too much, he is an alcoholic an

Father murdered mother in the nursery: Today Chris has learned to forgive themselves

Chris is eight years old, still a primary school kid, as he realized that in his family, something goes wrong. His father drinks too much, he is an alcoholic and beat up his mother. Also Chris is not spared. As soon as he says something to his father, in drunken fits, flying bottles and ashtrays after him. To violence in the family, money worries. And because the relationship to his older sister is difficult, can Chris trust anyone. He sits, alone in a family that breaks apart more and more.

"On this day

my life has changed for ever" "I actually thought that it can't get any worse," says Chris. For many years the Drama from the shock and loneliness of it. Then Chris 18 is going to the army, want, finally, to build a private, peaceful life. It manages up to 5. October 2011. "This day has changed my life."

It is deep in the night – Chris‘ parents have been arguing again, once for hours, loudly, as his father, in the noise of the big Hammer from the tool drawer pulls and in the nursery of his son's. There he beats on the head of Chris‘ mother. Neighbors hear screams and a muffled Knock. Later, it turns out: It's the noise from the head of the mother, and he always steps on the staircase is wrapped, as Chris‘ father, the corpse in a blanket, out into the garden, dragging and simply leaves.

Short Chris in the face of investigators

The next Morning, Chris receives a call from his sister. "Mama is dead. The neighbors found her in the garden“, sobbing through her tears. Chris can't believe it, think of a joke. Then his supervisor of the Bundeswehr reports to him. Chris is suddenly suspect. "A neighbor had told the police to have me that night at my parents house," says Chris. As it turns out, the father is left, is left of the suspicion against the 18-Year-old quickly fall. The evidence the investigators found in the house, are clear: Chris's father has murdered his mother in cold blood. C. Hesse private Christoph as a small child. At that time, the world was still in order.

For the young man, a world has collapsed. Again and again he poses the question: How could it come to this? And: Why no one stopped the unfolding tragedy?

A life in a bubble of alcohol, and violence

even as a child, Chris flees again and again to his grandmother or his best friend Kevin. There, he comes somewhat to rest when home fly, once again, the shred, gets hot meals and a bit of a sense of security.

Even in school his teacher noticed that Chris ' family is something wrong. Never his parents visit teacher meeting a parent. You do not speak with the teachers and with the parents of the best friend. Chris‘ parents live in a bubble of alcohol, violence and Resignation. The timid speech Attempts of a small boy fends off his mother again and again. Also, Chris‘ teacher questioned no further. Nobody wants to see exactly what's going on behind the facade of the family.

Chris‘ sister is a few years older than he is. They got married quickly and is early moved out of home. The ratio of the two siblings was never very good. Later, as Chris is already a Teenager, he always uses every opportunity to get out of here. The school is not interested in him, he meets rather be with his buddies. They hang out together, drink alcohol and start to take drugs. Only quite harmless, and then increasingly harder. Fights belong in Chris‘ circle of friends, to everyday life.

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"You are the son of the asocial type,"

After the 8 are. Class is for Chris with the school closing. He has no degree, no prospects. The people in the small town know him. "You're the son of the anti-social type", fretting the small townspeople him. He still has the wrong friends and just live for the day. Two of his buddies have now died of the consequences of drug use.

When Chris was 18 years old, he goes to the army. He is the only one from his old circle of friends, the dares this step. Here he learns for the first Time in his life, what clear structures. And he likes it. He graduated from high school and finds new friends – this time without the fights and drugs. Chris has done it, made a Cut and his old life left behind. "I felt for the first Time in my life, really happy. I didn't want to be the child of a murderer,“ he says. C. Hesse private Chris at the age of 16 years. Two years later, he went to the army.

And then came this day, that their own father murdered their mother brutally. In the fall, he will mark the ninth Time. How is it possible for you to find after such a blow of fate back to life? "Prospects" in FOCUS Online

FOCUS Online, we see not only problems but also solutions. We do not hide what is bad – but we also show what is done, and how each Individual can make a contribution. We give people and ideas that contribute to addressing the individual and societal challenges. To tell these particular stories, we have formed the K-Team. K is a Constructive one. All the items of the K-team can be found under the heading "perspectives".

"This act is forever a part of me"

For Christoph is clear: "This act will forever be a part of me – but you are not determined about me." Today, the 28-year-old with his girlfriend Zoé, live together. You moved away from the confines of the small town, where even years after the fact, the eyes of the people Chris to the unimaginable fact his father reminded. The only contact to his old home to his grandma's.

it was important for Chris in the months and years after the fact, the Bundeswehr was: Without the structure and support he would not have Packed it at the time. He was supervised by psychologists and had people who listened to him. He was able to take time-outs and techniques to cope with the trauma of learning. And: He could play sports. This is now one of Chris‘ major passions. Whenever he can, he goes to the gym and trained. So he gets the head free again. C. Hesse private Sport can be spent, Chris total and get the head back on.

Still, Chris is to be obtained – nine years after the fact – still regularly of the past. Then the events of the 5 run. October 2011, and again in his head. Chris has now learned, with the Experienced deal with it, to accept it. "What did my father belongs to a piece of my life, I can't undo it or erase it," says Chris. To his imprisoned father, and is now, a day release prisoner, he stopped all contact. With the sister, he got off the phone only and to. "You don't understand, why I speak openly about the fact and even think about it, to write a book. It is so important to talk about the Trauma.“

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"Alone, you're not coming from a number out of"

Many victims of traumatic events experience their unhappiness as a personal failure, even if this is true lens even. Also, Chris has often asked himself whether or not he can prevent the fact of his father would have. Physically, he would have been perhaps able. "But I don't know today that it was in my Power, and my responsibility," says Chris.

Others, however, can respond to and have to, Chris is convinced. "For example, the teacher, who knew of the conditions in my family, but nothing has been done about it." The 28-Year-old believes that there is a need for better in such situations, trained teachers and more education in schools. "Because you're not coming from a point out of it."

Chris came with a lot of strength and support to finally out – from a family, which gives him a hell of a Childhood, and then with probably the worst Trauma, the experience a child has charged. Chris is a carefree life enjoys today. "I am glad that I am healthy and am looking forward to someday have a family that is happier than mine."

Here is Affected go to: the
  • the White Ring https://weisser-ring.de/haeuslichegewalt
  • women against violence e. V. https://www.frauen-gegen-gewalt.de/de/haeusliche-gewalt-was-tunwie-helfen.html
  • desperate https://www.nummergegenkummer.de/
  • telephone to violence against women https://www.hilfetelefon.de The world is better than your bad news - FOCUS Online provides you every Friday with the best stories from the field perspectives. Subscribe here for free Newsletter:

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Updated Date: 31 July 2020, 15:26

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