I've seen, experienced and heard a lot in the dating world, otherwise this column wouldn't even come about. But there is one problem I haven't been able to solve over the whole date: First dates that come about via dating apps. Because when you first meet it can happen that you approach each other and think: "Mmmh, so that's it, smaller, narrower than I thought"; approaching: "Ah. Kinda I don't know, I guess that's not my type"; standing in front of each other, looking at the opposite and realizing: "NO!".
I can tell you what I've done so far. Even if my head, my heart and my abdomen were screaming at me: "NO and hopefully no one will see you with THAT!", because the person might look completely different than in their photo or the vibe just wasn't right from the first second, I pulled bravely through the date. I always thought nobody deserved to be turned down at first sight. Drinking coffee for an hour or going for a walk isn't going to kill me. I didn't want to hurt the other person.
But some people handle it differently. When my colleague recently asked me if I knew the "parking lot trick" when dating, which he came up with because he had seen the series "Last X-Mas. 24 Days for Love" on RTL, I came up with a different one, old story that was once told to me... Let's call them Anna and Philipp.
It was the third date between Anna and Philipp, not the first, so they had seen each other live before. Apparently, the first sniffing went so well that Philipp was now invited to Anna's house and gratefully accepted this invitation. The two chilled comfortably on the couch, chatted, ate pizza - the chemistry seemed to fit.
After an hour or two it was already happening. You kissed, fumbled and it got wilder. At this point at the latest one could have thought: Yes, the chemistry is right and the two are in the mood for each other. That's how it was and you ended up in bed. After two or three changes of position, Philipp stopped and froze. Then, like any woman would have done, Anna asked if everything was all right.
"Yes, yes, all right, just give me a moment," he said from behind while she knelt in front of him and wondered what just happened. Before she could ask another question, he verbally shot out: "Shit man, can we take a short break?". She agreed, believing that something probably didn't want to happen the way he did or might hurt him a bit. But his explanation for the interruption was completely different: "I bought an expensive wine bottle for us and left it in your yard. When I walked towards your front door, I had to stop and tie my shoes, so I got them just leave it. Fuck man." Anna, irritated by this and still in the same position, asked if they could maybe discuss that later and laughed a little uncertainly. Then he pulled it out and said: "No, no, do you know what it cost? No way, I'll get it quickly."
Philipp jumped up and quickly put on all his clothes while Anna remained on all fours on the bed. Then he quickly walked out of the apartment door and said: "See you soon". The door slammed shut and Anna lay naked and waited. Two, three, four, seven minutes passed. But no one rang. After about ten minutes, still without clothes, she picked up her cell phone to call Philipp and ask if everything was ok. She was worried, maybe he had fallen down the stairs in the hurry, you never know, something can always happen.
When she dialed the number, the line was silent, then the mechanical voice of the announcement appeared: "Sorry, this number is not available, please try again later." Anna was startled. Was his battery dead? She didn't remember. When she called up WhatsApp Messenger, she saw that Philipp's profile picture had disappeared. She wrote him a message anyway, asking where he was staying, after all fifteen minutes had passed. But the message stayed with a catch. He blocked her. Now Anna realized: He would never come back. He dumped her during sex.
Maybe Philipp should have used the parking lot trick when he didn't have the balls to end things the right way - literally. This states that you come to the café on the first date, check the appointments once, but then say goodbye with the argument that you have to look for a parking space. If you don't like the other, you'll never come back. This trick is similarly disgusting in human terms, but at least the other person is still dressed like this.
The stories in this dating column all happened in real life. I certainly haven't experienced all of them myself, there are also contributions from colleagues, friends and acquaintances among them, but they are all worth telling.
Also read other dating columns: