Love at first sight is cheesy, cheesy and somehow wonderful. You see someone walking into a room, get nervous immediately, even start sweating when they approach and get an increased heart rate. Excitedly you then talk to the person and just don't want to say anything wrong. This feeling often lasts for months, but does it survive a marriage?
The wedding magazine "Brides" spoke to various therapists on this subject and they all came to the same conclusion: No, most of the time the "love at first sight" romance does not withstand marriage. Marriage and family therapist Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill explains that there's more to marriage than just having butterflies in your stomach. And that is exactly the crux of this overwhelming feeling.
As Dutch researchers found out in a study, love at first sight is primarily biochemical in nature. One jumps on the smell of the partner, the sexual attraction is high. The licensed therapist Dr. Tania Paredes explains love at first sight like this: "The feeling can be very euphoric and intoxicating. I've been told by patients that it's a similar feeling to being 'drunk', you're completely engulfed by that feeling."
But the key question from the panel of O'Neill, Dubrow, and Dr. Tania Paredes and Sofia Robirosa: Is love at first sight real? It is important for couples to find out as soon as possible, because the initial euphoric feeling prevents them from taking the time to really get to know the stranger. Rose-colored glasses like to falsify reality. It is important to know someone before marrying them.
Therapist O'Neill can confirm from her experience with patients that love is more than attraction: "The sex is great, you like how the person feels and smells, you enjoy the body, you like how the person feels about themselves is attracted to you - it's an exquisite feeling. But it's not love, not the kind of love that a long-term marriage requires. A marriage requires the kind of love that, in addition to attraction, emphasizes character, values, personality and skills, but these can only be found out over time.
It's possible that love at first sight can lead to a lasting marriage, but unfortunately, according to O'Neill, the odds are slim. A relationship and a marriage changes over time. Often physical attraction decreases, the body changes, interests change. This can be for any number of reasons, including children, health issues, and careers that cause ups and downs. There are phases with little or no sex and phases in which you just don't get along well with your partner. However, when a marriage is based solely on biochemical attraction, the likelihood of it breaking up over time is high.
According to Dubrow, a marriage born of love at first sight can only work one way: "Take the time to think about short and long-term goals, fears, achievements and your professional and family prospects for the next one to five Years to talk. The honeymoon phase lasts about six months, and that's when people really start to get to know each other's strengths, quirks, baggage and red flags."
Sources: Brides, Study, Psychology Today
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