"Christinaaaaa?"– Yes? "What are you doing?" The same as two hours ago: "I WORK!" — like most of my waking hours of the day, by the way. Professional soccer players live in a completely different world than the "normal" person who has a full-time job and everything else in life that has to be done before or after.
The next message is not long in coming: "How much longer? I'm bored." That's what it's like day in and day out when you're dating a pro soccer player. By the way, my answer to that was: "As long as every day". One reason why I might have dated a few of them but never "made it" to be a gamer's wife. The correct answer would have been; "Oh no, hutziputzi Schnuffelknuffel, what can I do about that? How can I help you?". Well, a lot of things in life have advantages and disadvantages. That's why I'm now writing this column and not having my feet massaged under palm trees while another assistant paints my nails and I instruct my nanny on how closely she has to look after the child.
I've been able to test different leagues in my life, from the first Bundesliga down to the regional league I can say one thing in summary from my experience: Everyone thinks they are the next Cristiano Ronaldo and has 276 sensitivities that have to be taken into account.
As a rule, professional footballers work three hours a day. Mostly they have practice, one game and rarely practice twice a day. This actually means that they have a lot of free time, so they are often "bored". But if, on a normal day, there is also a trip to the bank, the supermarket or even an appointment, then they are often on the verge of burnout. Sometimes I thought he was going to throw himself on the sidewalk and cry like he's on the lawn just because he had an errand to run. The stress level on these guys is absolutely next level for a regular worker. That's not to say that I'm questioning the fact that they're certainly putting in the 90 minutes a week that counts when it counts (we're on the pitch now, not between the sheets) at peak performance. That seems to make them whining teenagers for the rest of the week, though.
But there is one life situation in which the excessive demands are not applicable if they are externally controlled by a certain part of the body. By that I don't mean their feet running across the lawn, although they can probably run just as fast at such moments. Going to the supermarket often seems very exhausting for a professional soccer player and his sensitivities. But not always keeping several wives. So far I have not had the privilege of experiencing any of them who have been really faithful. I once said to a Premier League player, "It's amazing how many people you meet," meaning the other players. He looked at me puzzled and said: "You mean the fucking?" – No, I didn't actually mean that, but it was nice to know anyway.
Another kept a book about his love affairs so that he didn't lose track and wrote down the phone numbers on the lines, sorted by city. Reason: Then I can theoretically give my future girlfriend access to my cell phone. Because Christina was in there as Christian. So if a professional soccer player isn't chasing someone else's balls on the lush green, he'll spend the rest of the day playing with his own or dealing with his self-discovery.
Me-time is also a very big topic for athletes. You would like to meet in a few days, but sometimes he can't agree to that despite a lot of free time. He also doesn't want to plan so far in advance because he doesn't even know what his mood and state of mind is on that day. Or which of the women still has time. It is completely irrelevant whether my daily routine looks different and I have to plan a bit. It's not his problem, is it? And what happens if a professional soccer player is only slightly injured, you can almost imagine that from the descriptions so far. A doomsday, a woman during her period, a birth, nothing against it. Save yourself who can.
My chances of playing wives probably haven't exactly increased after this article, but dating this fringe group of men has potential for amusement. My late grandmother would have said: "All in a sack and hit it, you never meet the wrong person." Amen.
The stories in this dating column all happened in real life. I certainly haven't experienced all of them myself, there are also contributions from colleagues, friends and acquaintances among them, but they are all worth telling.
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