In her latest book "Lust - Fuckability, Orgasm-Gap und
Do we have a social, media overdose of sex and sex content? Today we are constantly surrounded by tantalizing images, accessible pornography and explicit song lyrics - that's just too much for our lust! If you see a poster from a casual dating portal at the bus stop at 6 a.m. with the slogan: "I know my own bed well enough now" - then at some point you'll just be full. Involuntarily permanently stimulated. The allure of the forbidden is gone when temptation is thrown at you everywhere, e.g. B. through the I-pay-for-your-nude-photos-platform OnlyFans. One click is enough - and you get to see everything (from your favorite celebrity) immediately. yawn! There is a complete oversaturation through countless digital possibilities on topics such as data, porn, cheating and fetishes. In a world where almost every fetish can be satisfied with just a few clicks, not wanting to (anymore) is the biggest taboo.
Can you elaborate? Did you know that sexless marriages are trending? It's just that nobody talks about it, because in our over-sexualized society, in which the BDSM love story "Fifty Shades" runs in prime time and even goulash soup is sold with ambiguities, it has become the biggest taboo NOT to feel pleasure anymore. The sex doldrums have long since arrived! Numerous studies have shown that couples have never had as little sex as they do today. Young people never started later.
And: While the British slept together five times a month in 1990, it was only four times in 2000. Now, the average couple (aged 16 to 64) only have fun together three times a week. Whether that's a lot or a little is something everyone has to judge for themselves.
Where do you see the reason why, statistically speaking, we are having less sex than ever?Because of social media and the supposedly perfect world, ideals of beauty have been distorted. For example, the Kardashians have had surgery from top to bottom and retouched in photos. We all mimic that and create our virtual selves. The inhibition threshold to go on a real date after the supposedly "perfect" photos or to want to show yourself naked to a sexual partner is falling.
To what extent does Netflix have anything to do with the sexualized society? There is an interesting study that says that the streaming services are to blame for the fact that nothing works in bed anymore. Sex is plan B when all streaming providers really aren't working anymore. We sit on the sofa in the evening, can watch great new series and films every day, have Tiktok and Instagram, only when nothing is left and you are just bored with every portal do you see who is sitting next to you on the sofa. There is no longer boredom and in the Middle Ages sex was simply the number one hobby. So I think Netflix and Co. are also to blame for our stunted sex life.
Do you have a personal dating tip? In my opinion, you can't generalize. There are no rules as to whether or not you become intimate at the first meeting and what can result from that. It should always feel loose and light. Don't tactic. As soon as you start thinking and show friends whatsapp history, something isn't going right.
In your opinion, what is today's deadly sin? Our society is completely overwhelmed by the blatant pressure that today everyone can and must have the best sex of their life. And if he/she doesn't manage it, when we are more free than ever today and have all the options, then we feel we are just too stupid. That led me to the thesis that today the real mortal sin is no longer lust, but a lame sex life. Or not wanting to (anymore). If our world weren't so over-sexualized, we wouldn't take sex so damn seriously either, and instead just have it and enjoy it.
In "Fifty Shades of Gray" and similar films we only ever see: A woman is taken, preferably pressed against the wall in the hallway, five, six, seven thrusts and then both come at the same time only through the power of the penis. This gives the wrong picture. 70 to 80 percent of women need the extra clitoral stimulation to climax. Unfortunately, many men and women still need education about their (own) female sexuality.
In your book you write that there might soon be sex robots. Would you buy one?Never ever! My cell phone and the sexual sensory overload are already too much for me. In Japan, there are actually already dating and relationship simulations on mobile phones. We here in Europe already have VR glasses - if we can all soon have sex with Beyoncé, Kurt Cobain or whoever in the quiet little room with VR glasses, in the worst case there will be less and less walking in real life. Everything is shifting more and more to the Internet.
The number of porn addicts is increasing, sex avatars are booming. We could die out soon because lust and sex are becoming too digitized. People often use dating apps without ever actually dating because they can't disappoint or fail anyone. Certainly one of the reasons why ghosting has become so fashionable.
How would you like sexuality to develop in society? We Germans have forgotten how to enjoy ourselves a bit, there is even a study about it. Every second has to be used productively, you optimize yourself non-stop. It takes a lot of time to keep yourself young and fuckable all the time, while some completely forget about sex as such.