In contrast to interpersonal relationships, to which one is usually forced to be exposed, such as those at work or in the family, one chooses love relationships oneself and is completely free in his decision. And should they therefore be designed in such a way that they are good for you: What do I want? What do I need? And with whom can I fulfill this?
This kind of relationship requires time, experimentation, reciprocity and, above all, constant work. However, many people are not willing to invest in these components, but believe in what is often seen in films and sold as "perfect": love at first sight, two people meet, it sparks and it is the exclusive one Relationship that lasts until the end of life. Often simply based on the fact that the "chemistry" is right at the beginning. However, it is not uncommon for the result that dissatisfaction or even cheating, for example in the form of cheating, shows up in the course of working together if you are not willing to invest work - in the relationship and above all in yourself. Because that also takes time a person to be happy together.
From my point of view, Aino Simon gets to the heart of the problem in her book "Love is unique: Find the relationship happiness that suits you": She is a Gestalt therapist and relationship coach and knows from her everyday work and statistics that many people don't are really happy in their relationship - although they could shape it according to their own ideas. But why that is not so easy and what you can really do to get out of dissatisfaction, she writes down in an understandable, comprehensible and clever way and deals with topics such as sexuality, jealousy, monogamy, polyamory, boredom and self-care.
I have rarely read a book that I have recommended as often as this one. Because on the one hand it makes it wonderfully clear what a fulfilled love relationship needs. First of all, we have to recognize what we really want. And this step is already difficult. Simon explains what it takes: complete honesty with yourself, completely unembellished and without filters. What fantasies do I have? Why do I sometimes react the way I react? How do I get in tune with myself? That means a lot of work and time. But then communicating it sensibly is the next difficult step. Aino Simon gives helpful tips, for example: If you try to explain your own feelings, difficulties can arise again and again and sometimes you think you are feeling something that later turns out to be a misconception. The expert encourages you not to close yourself off, but to try again and again until it feels right. She also gives practical tips.
In the next step to happiness in a relationship, you must of course find a way with your partner to implement what you want in such a way that no one is hurt or neglected. The therapist recommends rules and regular, fixed consultation times in which there are no taboos. She also breaks with what is often considered "normal" or "right" in a relationship, but finally really encourages very individual rules, courage and active decisions.
Particularly helpful and positive from my point of view: the expert never writes in a warning tone or with a raised index finger and does not present her own path as an ideal solution, but always lives up to the title of the book: "Love rather unique", find your very own Path to relationship happiness, whatever that may look like. And with exactly this tone, the explanations, the tips and examples in the book, she hits a nerve with me and has made me deal with myself and my wishes much more intensively and also managed to communicate them. And I don't cling to fixed rules or desperately search for step-by-step instructions and instructions, but create my own approaches that suit me. A book that moved and inspired me and has already passed through many hands from my bookshelf. I like to refer to it and keep it in mind. For me it is significant.
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