Dating: Why mixed signals drive us crazy and why they are usually energy guzzlers

"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me.

Dating: Why mixed signals drive us crazy and why they are usually energy guzzlers

"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me..." This is the daisy-free game you play day in and day out when you've been dating someone who's giving out mixed signals.

You're just getting to know each other, but the atmosphere is already very intimate and affectionate, but the next moment you have to wait forever for a message. Or the latest conquest clearly says, "I'm just looking for something casual," but then acts like you're in a relationship. There are countless examples of the phenomenon of mixed signals in dating and this behavior pattern is becoming more rather than less in the world of digital dating, because hardly anyone really wants to commit anymore. It could be that you are just a dating app swipe away from an even more beautiful, intelligent or wealthy partner.

In addition to purely egomaniacal behavior such as keeping all options open, there can also be more serious causes such as a fear of commitment behind the pattern of mixed signals. It is not always possible to clearly differentiate between them, but women in particular tend to believe that he only has a problem binding himself, for example because his parents got divorced. Then they convince themselves that with enough patience they can change the course of events. In most cases, however, the easiest way is the answer: he or she does not want to commit himself, at least not with the person he is sending mixed signals to.

Sending mixed signals is usually egomaniacal behavior in order to keep all doors open for yourself, but still take advantage of the benefits of a relationship, such as cuddling, for example. In most cases, a lot of energy is withdrawn from the other person in this way. The thoughts of what kind of interpersonal connection this is or can be don't stop and are fed again and again by positive signals and doubted by negative signals.

In the most common cases, it is not a trauma that is behind it, because the well-known saying still applies to dating: "If you want, you can". Again and again you find that even the most indecisive guy, who sent you mixed signals, cuddled, went out with you for a meal or even suggested a weekend trip, but still didn’t want anything permanent, can be forgiven and married the day after tomorrow. In general, one can say that mixed signals usually mean a pretty clear "No!" to a solid partnership with oneself. It doesn't matter how you talk yourself into saying that he or she was still so clingy last night or in the last message.