Mother complains: When your children are crying, is the most responsive parents wrong!

The Baby was wrapped, lined and covered, but now it is in the car, and roars. The small child sits in the sand box and crying, because Peter gives up the shovel

Mother complains: When your children are crying, is the most responsive parents wrong!

The Baby was wrapped, lined and covered, but now it is in the car, and roars. The small child sits in the sand box and crying, because Peter gives up the shovel. The school-age child to do homework, and POPs instead, with a loud curse the door. Lots of little tyrants? Parents have the duty to finally "properly access"?

The answer is: no. You allow it to. If your child cries, then it has a reason. If a child is screaming, overloaded his System, and whatever we take now to educational measures, at all, no effect. The child may be silent, if we exert enough pressure, but to learn nothing is guaranteed. Exciting, but just no time?

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it is, Therefore, wise parents, If our child cries, yells or roars, his brain is in a state of emergency. We need to move any kind of education to later and first ensure that it can listen to us ever again. We must of course act according to their age.

Baby in the children's

the car is For the Baby in the car: In the case of a whimpering, crying or even screaming Baby, we will react immediately. It is not a myth that babies would manipulate their parents, that their brain development at all. Babies don't lie: studies show that babies who will be responded to immediately and emphatically, fewer and shorter crying and develop better. About the guest author

Nicola Schmidt science is a journalist, author, lecturer and mother of two. She researches and writes in the areas of developmental psychology, Evolutionary and behavioral biology.

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"Appropriately - The other small children's book" by Nicola Schmidt

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Let the child take out of the car, usually it calms down very quickly. It calms down? Doesn't matter, but they do it anyway right! Because it is still better for his brain development, if it is in mom or dad's arms, crying as if it is alone in the stroller. A clear-cut case.

small child in the sand box

, For the small child in the sand box here, Too, we will react immediately. Of course, we are not going to demolish now, Peter the blue shovel, screaming for Emma to stop. Of a child with a year and a half, two or three years, we expect significantly more likely that Emma rips now time "together".

Basically, the assumption is also correct: The children will learn in the second year of life, your needs to wait to process the frustration. But several times a day is not exceeded in this age, the limit at which the child can regulate himself. His little System can't handle the Stress and it screams. FOCUS Online provides you with the most exciting Reports from the parents. Here you can subscribe to the Newsletter.

Acknowledge that the child is not overloaded

A child's right is to do the will of the child. It means that we recognize that the child is not overloaded: "Okay, you want the shovel, I see you. At the Moment, Peter has the shovel and we can only wait.“ We can go on the swing or the yellow shovel offer.

But be careful: Often a tired toddler can start with our loved ones Offered nothing more. Now, we must not lose self-control and insults call: "You don't want the yellow shovel? You little Terrorist runt!“ No, we are smart, we will teach our child would rather how to deal with Stress: "Oh, the yellow shovel helps you, I understand. I think the day was now too long, come to me, in my arms you can cry all you.“

We are the place where our children are with their helpless rage and excessive demand for sure. And we will show you that you have a safe Harbor. Often the children do not want to be close - that's okay. We stay there, sure that the child is doing neither himself nor the other hurt and wait until the "neurons storm" in the brain, because nothing else is screaming and Raging, has been placed.

school children for the first time

listening applies To our school child: Before I explain my child, loudly, that no doors will be popped, we need to discuss what is going on. The best way: listen first. "Hey, I hear you don't like the homework. Tell me, what's going on.“

Often school children can say very clearly what is bothering you, you are hungry, are tired, need help, understand the material, or prefer to play. Then you can find Alternatives and also make it clear, as you can see, even the thing. Only then do we remind the child of the family rules, stating, for example, that no doors will be popped and no one yelled at is - what can I say but only if I scream for yourself.

When parents intervene, the child learns nothing

Why so much effort? Would be a "crackdown" not a lot easier? No, it's not. When I reach through, the children may be quiet, but you have learned nothing. We want children to learn something. We act as the science teaches us: Only when children are relaxed, can take your brain our words. A child who screams, we can't educate. We need to calm it down and to his side. And then the social rules.

Because science also teaches: children want to cooperate. Children want to be loved, to be part of a group, they want to please their parents. Our children are so constantly in conflict: I want to please my parents, but I want to determine for yourself. Most of the time you can find to about in the Afternoon to four very good compromise. But when it gets to the evening, parents and children are tired, the brain is slowly exhausted. All of them are affected: The children can no longer cooperate, we parents start to complain.

now If we could, our child stress management to teach to see, instead of a small "tyrants", we have already won. And it is good to remember: children screaming to annoy us. They cry because they really need the help: "Who's that screaming, is right," When we go on our children, we get answers amazingly cooperative. Give it a try!

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Updated Date: 10 June 2020, 12:27

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