Whether on the way to school or to friends: of parents and should not have to constantly be there when the children are older and self-employed. But what if Strangers come, and you with the candy curls, with cute bunnies or if someone comes physically close to you? Then the children need to know how to react.
"If someone wants to grab it or touch it, you should say a loud 'no'. We practiced it a couple of Times," says Veronika Thiel, mother of six-year-old twins. It is important that children know their own limits. The start the Tickling. If you want to stop, have to respect other people this desire, says the Berliner.
"know you, My daughters, that you are the best always inside about what is happening with your body." You'll teach the girl to scream in case of an emergency and to draw attention to themselves. Even in Kindergarten the teachers had practiced early with the children, to reach out and to say "stop" if something goes too far.children have a good sense of
children have a good sense of which situations feel good and which don't, says Ralph Schliewenz, psychotherapist for children and adolescents. "It is important that you learn to listen and to say no." The message that parents should teach their children, therefore, was: "listen to your own feeling. Be alert and attentive." Exciting, but just no time?
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A good self-esteem children help to respond if anything seems funny, says psychologist and systemic therapist Kathrin Forch, who works in the education consulting the AWO Hamburg. "Self-confident children can tell adults a lot better no, as the children can awareness with low self."
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children are accustomed to listening to adults. To learn to say no, should children be allowed to speak in other situations, says the education consultant.
Often parents are too trusting, says Schliewenz. "First, you must grab the adult to the own nose and see that this world poses a number of dangers." If adults have any reasons to not feel good, if the child go out alone, you should listen to advises psychologist. FOCUS Online provides you with the most exciting Reports from the parents. Here you can subscribe to the Newsletter.
In everyday life, it helps to make clear appointments. "My children know that they should always stay together," says Veronika Thiel. Also, the Kindergarten heed precautions. In the case of persons who are the educators not known, will be checked and the ID card.
Often parents are unsure of how you are with your children talk about the theme, says Forch. You recommend entry-level books for children as a Conversation - for example, "the big and The small NO," by Gisela Braun and Dorothee Wolters, or "My body belongs to me!", Pro Familia Dagmar Geisler. She also advises to integrate the theme, of course, in everyday life, to take the children of fear and shame. As you learn to cross the road only when the Green, you should learn also, not going with Strangers.
For parents, it is a balancing act, to mindfulness, to stop, but is not afraid to make. "The children should not assume that behind all this something Bad. You don't want to take the trust in other people," Forch stresses Kathrin. Therefore, the parents should focus on the positive feelings and the children raise awareness of when something is a good feeling, advises Ralph Schliewenz. "We want safe-bound children who can be true to her trust."There are good and bad secrets
In his talks, he has been working with the concepts of "good and bad secrets". The Small would have an intuitive understanding of what this means: Good secrets to feel good, bad, however, uncomfortable. In the case of the poor, it may help to talk to adults, explains the psychologist. In order for the children's trust, should convey to the parents that you can endure these secrets. "You can tell me anything, so you're going to lose it", loud the message.
As with all of the shame-prone subjects there is a need for space, to get into the conversation, says Kathrin Forch. "In order for children, parents can tell anything, there has to be a part of everyday life." She advises, is always to listen carefully to - even if somewhat funny to listen to. "It is important that you Believe in children," she says. More on the topic of educationPut the kids under pressure
but at the same time, you should not immediately own conclusions to indulge. "If a suspicion arises, you have to discipline yourself and first of all open requests."Because just small children, you could suggest quickly memories of experiences that have not even occurred.
"If the child tells nothing,it may be that there is nothing to tell," stresses Schliewenz. And Forch advises not to put the child under pressure, but in the case of suspicion, an education counselling centre.
Veronika Thiel's daughters: secrets with your Friends you may keep for yourself. "But if someone asks explicitly that you should not tell your mom and maybe even threatens that something Bad happens, then you should tell me," she explains. Your daughters could confide in her at any time. "You know that I support them, if anything happens."
See you in FOCUS Online, you can See in thepkey/dpa Date Of Update: 06 June 2020, 17:27