Love life: How you can - and should - use different types of stimulation during sex

Whether nipples, anus, clitoris, glans or penis: During sexual intercourse there are numerous parts of the body that can be stimulated and thus used with pleasure.

Love life: How you can - and should - use different types of stimulation during sex

Whether nipples, anus, clitoris, glans or penis: During sexual intercourse there are numerous parts of the body that can be stimulated and thus used with pleasure. And not only during foreplay, but also to reach the climax. But that takes practice, explains sexologist and psychotherapist Dania Schiftan the star. The expert reveals what we should pay attention to when stimulating different parts of the body.

Schiftan says: "Everyone gets used to different places where he or she gets excited." Many women would usually first discover the head of the clitoris and use it specifically for stimulation. Sometimes it would stay that way and other parts of the body would be neglected during masturbation. It is also often said that women are quickest and most likely to have clitoral orgasms and that vaginal orgasms are rarer.

However, the sexologist explains that there is actually no difference between a clitoral and vaginal orgasm: "The clitoris is much bigger than many people think. When a woman is stimulated vaginally, the clitoris is always stimulated as well, namely in the form of the clitoral thighs . If a woman wants to feel more in the vagina during intercourse, she really needs to regularly stimulate those sections and areas of it little by little. So practice, practice, practice." Schiftan also advocates this in her book "Coming Soon: Orgasm is a matter of practice".

But not only the orgasm needs to be practiced, also the sex. How this can work is written in the sequel "Keep It Coming: Good sex is a matter of practice". "Many couples are confronted with the reality that they have learned very different types of stimulation. A typical example: The woman has learned to stimulate the clitoris, for example by rubbing it in a circular motion. The man, however, has learned to use relatively high pressure over the penis Of course, that doesn't go together because the vagina isn't as sensitive and the penis may not have enough friction in the soft vagina."

In her practice, the sexologist and psychotherapist is often confronted with couples thinking that they are not sexually compatible at all. And therefore love one another too little. "And that's just not true. We can relearn and expand the things we learn. Couples can gradually learn to expand their own pattern, and then have more and more areas of overlap." To do this, however, everyone has to train different sensitive parts of the body in order to be able to use them with relish and thus help them to have an orgasm during sex.

The first step for women is certainly to get to know the different areas of the vagina. The practice can also be applied to other sensitive parts of the body: both women and men can also learn anal stimulation, for example. "Like everything on the body, the anus is also absolutely sensitive, there are more receptors there. But if these are not trained and therefore not associated with pleasure, then it won't work. If you keep at it and practice, they can be very pleasurable sex." However, caution is advised when it comes to anal stimulation: "Unnecessary pressure should be avoided. Most of the time you want to move forward too quickly. But the anus is even more used to closing the vagina. And if you try to counteract it with pressure and tension, then the body has painful experiences. We should take our time to really develop the anal region in peace", Dania Schiftan makes clear.

In addition, sexologist Megwyn White of sex toy brand Satisfyer says: "We should really train the receptors in the anus and a butt plug is a good way to do that." A butt plug, also known as a butt plug or butt plug, is a sex toy that has a kind of cone shape with a point. This makes it easier to insert into the anus. The shaft is narrow, but the end is wide so that the butt plug cannot get into the intestine. For beginners, it makes sense to start with a small size and then, with a little more experience, use larger models or a vibrating anal plug. Silicone is also more comfortable at the beginning, but you can then switch to stainless steel if necessary.

White believes that men should also use this sex toy to be able to use different types of stimulation. "An anal plug helps to discover muscles, activate them and train them for arousal." This has to be done carefully and patiently, and when using such an aid, it is essential to use lubricating gel. A butt plug can either be used in preparation for anal sex or to activate the receptors. However, it can also be worn during a different sex position for additional stimulation and can remain in the anus for up to 90 minutes without any problems. After use, an anal plug should of course be thoroughly cleaned. The sexologists agree, however, that we should not only use sex toys for practice, but should always include partners as well, so as not to forget physical touch and not only to rely on aids.

So it makes sense to include and train different sensitive areas of the body during sex, says Dania Schiftan. Not only so that there is more overlapping area during stimulation for couples, but also to be able to stimulate several areas at the same time if necessary. But there is something to keep in mind: "For example, if I'm used to stimulating my clitoris with high pressure, but then start stimulating the vagina at the same time, it can happen that the touch in the vagina distracts me so much that I feel like I can't I can't even focus on the clitoris anymore." Therefore, the following procedure makes sense: "Only when I really develop the regions and make them excitable can I actually benefit from it during sex and increase the stimulation."

This article contains so-called affiliate links. There is more information here.