Love, Happiness and Dreams: Understanding Life: 9 Advice for My Younger Me

Life takes place in the here and now.

Love, Happiness and Dreams: Understanding Life: 9 Advice for My Younger Me

Life takes place in the here and now.

What do we really have in our hands? In the end, just this one moment. We can now take a new direction, make life-changing decisions, or just carry on as before. All of this is happening right now.

Instead of getting stuck in the past and holding on to what made us who we are today - or getting lost in future scenarios, it pays to draw attention to the here and now. Otherwise we run the risk of missing out on our life while it's happening.

love is a gift

Actually, the sentence is so clear that it needs no explanation. Because love cannot be earned. And while many people tend to do so, we shouldn't even try to earn another person's affection, be it romantic, friendly, or family. Everyone deserves love because they are who they are.

If our counterpart doesn't recognize this, then maybe he doesn't belong in our lives. No one needs to make an effort, pretend or conform to get love. Each of us is unique - and somewhere there are people who appreciate exactly this uniqueness.

Happiness is within us.

Admittedly, that sounds kind of like a worn-out calendar saying. But it's simply the truth. We look for happiness in things or other people so often that we sometimes forget to look inside ourselves. We can only be happy if we are at peace with ourselves and face the world with a positive attitude.

If we are dissatisfied, it is usually not due to external circumstances. And if it does, then it's also us who can change something about it. We are the only ones responsible for our lives – and therefore also for our happiness. On the one hand, this is sobering, but it also gives us the great freedom to shape our lives according to our ideas.

Perfection is a utopia.

Perfectionism is a quality that we are often born with in our meritocracy. We learn early on that good grades get us further and that we should ideally be impeccable in our hobbies in order to get anywhere in life. But what do we actually get if we keep chasing perfection without ever being able to actually achieve it? It's always more accurate, bigger and better.

So perfection is an ideal that we end up putting ourselves under pressure with. What is much more important in life: authenticity. When we learn to be honest with ourselves and those around us, including mistakes and unpopular traits, we give ourselves the space to be ourselves and to live a life consistent with our values. And that's the only thing we should really perfect.

Life means change.

Speaking of being ourselves: our personality is not a static state. We keep changing throughout our lives. And that's just as well. Nobody wants to live their whole life with the spirit of a 16 year old, right? And yet we often resist change in hopes of holding onto something. And be it simply the knowledge of who we are at the core.

Of course, there are core qualities that set us apart throughout life. But basically it is almost healing to understand life as a process in which change is simply part of it. Because not only do we change and have different roles in the different areas of life, the living conditions also change. Getting involved and seeing the change as something positive – that is the art. Those who master them gain satisfaction in life.

Most of all we regret what we don't do.

There are now several books in which the dying are asked what regrets they have in their life. Most of the time, the things they didn't do out of fear or shame play a big role. That's not surprising. Most likely we all only have this one life to let off steam in this world.

So we should also use this time to gain as many experiences as possible, to let new people into our lives and to do the things we dream of. It pays to let courage outweigh fear. It would be a shame if, in the twilight of our lives, we mainly look back on all the dreams we didn't fulfill instead of trying to fill our time with life, wouldn't it?

Death is part of life.

While we're at it: death is a topic that we tend not to like to deal with very much. This is exactly what can show us how valuable our time is. And once you really understand that, you will automatically deal with your life differently. We might then stop wasting our time so willingly and instead try to use it actively.

Because, tragic as it is, there is no guarantee that we will live long and healthy lives. Exactly the same applies to the people who are particularly close to our hearts. Everything is impermanent. It is all the more important to work towards your goals, to appreciate the moment and to let people know when something is burning on your soul.

It pays to dream big.

Anyone who walks through the world with great ideals likes to be labeled as a dreamer. There is nothing wrong with setting big goals and painting your dream life in the brightest colors. The important thing is to be able to distinguish between dreams and reality. Not every dream can also be fulfilled - but with many dreams it is worth at least trying.

Nevertheless, many people tend to quickly dismiss great ideas and projects with many counterarguments. We will never find out whether the dream does not have the potential to become reality if we don't just try it. Instead of always asking ourselves why something doesn't work, we should ask ourselves more often: "How can it work?"

The most important relationship we have is with ourselves.

Science now agrees that we need human relationships to be truly happy. So we need at least one reference person in our life who we can confide in. But the most important relationship we still have is with ourselves.

When we have established a healthy self-image and self-acceptance, we automatically treat ourselves with much more respect. We set boundaries, stand up for our needs and only connect with people who are good for us. So it pays to work on really liking yourself. Only then do we have a real constant in life, because: No matter what the world has in store for us - we can always rely on ourselves.