Pipeline-Manu once asked the doctor to resign. Reason: "attempted deception" and "concealment tactics". It's a joke that she herself stays in office if you take her statement to the yardstick. It's time to rehabilitate Guttenberg.

Friends of my Saturday rudeness, I assure you, as a patriotic, very do-gooder, I will of course not cause my country any financial damage. I always pay taxes on time. But it happened recently. I was late. I swear by all that is unholy to me it was not done with evil intent. I had to submit a new direct debit authorization to the tax office, which I promptly did. However, as a result of a general stress disorder I suffer from, I forgot to sign the paper.

I immediately received a reminder fee. Zack. bang The state shows no mercy. I was waived, it is imperative to mention it here for reasons of fairness, after I quickly transferred the amount, scourged myself by insulting myself over the phone and expressed deep regret on the phone. I would like to emphasize that the woman at the tax office was very friendly and understanding. I found that to be pleasant in Berlin, which is otherwise so quirky. Thanks!

Mecklenburg-Gazprommern should take an example from the capital's efficiency in collecting money. There, tax returns from state foundations are sometimes lost in the tax office, which could bring in around ten million euros for the state treasury. Of course, that can happen, especially if the coal comes from a Russian gas company, which until recently was held in high esteem in Mecklenburg-Gazprommern. Nevertheless, it should be remembered that everyone is equal before the law. A reminder fee will certainly be due.

No, wait a minute. The foundation initiated by Pipeline-Manu, which works for climate protection regardless of Ukrainian losses, is exempt from gift tax as a non-profit organization and does not have to pay anything. Or? She doesn't reveal that. Nor does she have to. tax secrecy. We are a constitutional state.

Do you know what connects Pipeline-Manu and the activist STERNCHEN from the very last generation besides the joint fight against global warming? Glue. Some stick to the streets, others to their political office. Another thing they have in common is the high moral standards. For Pipeline-Manu, an "attempted deception" and "cover-up tactics" are grounds for resigning. Politicians who pretend to stand for "special values ​​such as credibility and honesty" then "have to be measured by them". Because "that damages his credibility and thus trust".

No joke. That's what Pipeline-Manu told the "Hamburger Abendblatt" in February 2011 as deputy SPD federal chairman about Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg. You know, this is the CSU man who resigned as defense minister because of a trifle. If I remember correctly, he had copied something somewhere and called the whole thing a doctoral thesis. When asked if she felt sorry for her colleague, Pipeline-Manu replied: "No. Politics is not a petting zoo, but a hard, public business."

Exactly. That's why lying and deception and disinterest in one's own gossip from the day before yesterday play no role. Resignation? hahaha Ursula von der Leyen even became President of the European Commission after the consultant affair. Andreas Scheuer sunk billions and was allowed to continue dabbling. One like the super strong Pipeline Manu won't (have to) give up. She doesn't want to be a gatekeeper at the petting zoo, she wants to be chancellor. We need such warhorses. Perhaps Pipeline-Manu can initially replace Mrs. Lambrecht, the nation's helicopter high-flyer, as Federal Minister for Self-Defence.

Even better: Let's rehabilitate Guttenberg and make him the boss of the Bendler block again. After all, he was popular with the soldiers. To whistle on the party book would fit perfectly with the new political style of the progressive coalition. Perhaps zu Guttenberg is even willing to move from Bavaria to Hesse and strip off the gender assigned to him at birth, so that there are enough women from Hesse in Olaf the Unclear's cabinet. After all, gender and place of residence are more important than competence. Ask Anton Hofreiter, whose long hair didn't help either.

Olaf the Unclear is firmly at the Defense Minister's side, with whom he "works closely and trustingly". At least that's what it says in the language kit of deputy government spokeswoman Christiane Hoffmann, which she uses when the chancellor publicly swears allegiance. Olaf der Unklare also "worked closely and trustingly" with Anne Spiegel, Mrs. Hoffmann let us know. But what else is she supposed to say? The chancellor is annoyed that the FDP didn't make Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann defense minister? Ms. Lambrecht and Ms. Spiegel are planning a holiday together with the children on Sylt? That would be funny, but politically unconvincing.

You know that Mrs. Lambrecht recently confused the Air Force with Lufthansa when she visited Battalion Electronic Warfare 911 in Stadum in Schleswig-Holstein. It is responsible for telecommunications reconnaissance for the Bundeswehr - if the WLAN is stable. (Warning, conspiracy maniacs: 911 is the general emergency number for the police and fire departments in the USA. Surely something nice can be knitted from this.)

And coincidentally, the minister had an appointment with the 911s shortly before Easter. With a casual look at her calendar, she then found that Easter vacation with her son on Sylt is pending. Relaxation in wartime is important. Ms. Lambrecht now asks for your understanding that she wants to "keep in touch with the child". Of course, we understand that. We also think of the Ukrainian men who miss their children. The minister has already shown tact with her 5000 helmet campaign.

Oh yes, her son is "not a public figure", which is why he should not be "focused on". Who actually uploaded the photo from the helicopter flight to social media? Swam over it. Because legally everything is clean, Mrs. Lambrecht pays the 216 euros correctly to the state treasury.

Christian Lindner, the "Bunte" tells us, had to cancel his wedding in Tuscany. Personal security for the cashier is not secured. Now he wants to celebrate on Sylt. Perhaps Mrs. Lambrecht will fly to Stadum again soon. Then you could get together.