When love life could use a little more excitement, sex toys can help to increase desire. But which sex toy is suitable for beginners? Sexologist and psychotherapist Dania Schiftan also explains to stern what you should consider when using such aids - both as a couple and alone.
The majority of women are more likely to climax if the clitoris is specifically stimulated. Penetration, on the other hand, is often less effective. So if you want to get a feel for sex toys for the first time, a lay-on vibrator could be the right tool for you. However, the vibration should not be chosen too strongly. In addition, the vibrator should not have too many functions, so it is better not to vibrate and suck at the same time, that could be too much for the beginning. Some women report that such intensive aids take a lot of getting used to at first. Therefore, start gently and increase the intensity if necessary. Lay-on vibrators can be used alone or as an aid in lovemaking between couples. It is always important to know that it is only one of many ways to play and that there should be variety.
Massagers, which can be used for the clitoris, breasts, testicles, but also the entire body, are great sex toys for beginners. Couples in particular can use it to stimulate each other, but they can also use it for masturbation. Here, too, it is best to approach it gently and see what your partner likes. What is great about such a massage device is that the entire body is massaged and touched. This can make for particularly intense experiences. But also here: Such toys are one of many possibilities and should be used well dosed.
A love swing can also be an exciting addition to the love life of couples. It brings movement into the lovemaking and opens up possibilities for new positions, so that you definitely bring variety and fun into the bedroom. A swing that can be attached to the door frame and doesn't have so many straps is worth starting with. If you like the tool, you can buy a more luxurious, advanced model. And you need a sense of humour, because things can go wrong at the beginning of such experiments. So you should also be able to laugh together - but that alone can bring a breath of fresh air to the bedroom.
Ever since "Fifty Shades of Grey" at the latest, more couples have been trying out shackles, whips and the like. Because slight pain and BDSM can provide an increased sense of pleasure. It is best to try out with the first simple aids what you might like and whether you would rather slip into the more dominant or the subordinate role. But it takes precise agreements and trust in one another, especially at the beginning. you should be well informed about what you should use and how. A "safe word" is also helpful, signaling that you don't want to go any further or that you want to come to an end immediately.
What beginners should consider when using sex toys: don't want too much straight away. If you haven't had any contact with it before, you should approach it slowly to find out what you like. It shouldn't be too intense at the beginning, because a lot of it is a matter of getting used to it.
Tip: Sex toys can also be ordered discreetly from most suppliers, i.e. in such a way that you cannot see what is inside from the packaging. So if you want to test yourself first and don't necessarily want to deal openly with the topic, this is the best way to handle the order.
Is there anything else to consider when using sex toys for beginners? In general, sexologist Dania Schiftan thinks it's "always good when there's variety". The use of sex toys can definitely enrich the love life. "Sex toys have the word 'play' in them and that's always fun, funny and exciting. So a good thing." But Schiftan also explains: "Sex toys shouldn't always be there. It's important to check how you can stand it when everything is 'normal'. Is there still sexual tension in the partnership if no aids are used?" Otherwise you rely too much on tools and it becomes even more difficult to have intense climaxes without them. Incidentally, the sexologist also explains how to learn how to have an orgasm in her book "Coming Soon".
The expert continues: "I always have the rule: once with such a toy and twice without, so that you can also stimulate yourself with the tongue, fingers, penis and other parts of the body and don't neglect the physical, interpersonal, emotional." Dania Schiftan thinks that when using sex toys alone, you should make sure that you don't just focus on and rely on them. "Because otherwise it will be more difficult to reach orgasm the 'normal' way." So you can also become "lazy" and make it more difficult for a potential partner. But if you use sex toys in good doses, you can definitely enrich your love life.
This article contains so-called affiliate links. There is more information here.